The rapid and radical integration of artificially intelligent (non)human beings into public and private life has reshaped humans' everyday interactions in varied spaces, from the medical examination room to the bedroom. I contend that it is humanity's charge to agitate an onto-epistemological shift toward a post-anthropocentric future grounded in existential equality between all beings. A shift toward better ways of being and knowing is accomplished through a new materialist and decolonial intervention in (non)human subjectivities which require that humans commit to: 1) divest from western-rational discourses binding agency and intimacy to the corporeal body and 2) (re)locate intimacy in the (in)corporeal communion of the soul and spirit to establish harmonious techno-human affinities. I submit Her and Ex Machina, science fiction films and cultural artifacts, as case studies depicting decolonial futures which create discursive space to interrogate western-rational onto-epistemologies, critique colonial hegemonies, and (re)define subjectivity to include all thinking, feeling beings.