Article examining the logical implications and philosophical possibilities of a utopian realm, and coming to three conclusions. First, the realms described by near-death experiencers (NDErs), if taken at face value, are far from utopian. Second, any truly utopian postmortem society is so far removed from our present world as to be morally irrelevant to our own. And third, only an ideational postmortem utopia, of the sort exemplified by Pure Land Buddhist theology, can avoid both the non-utopian nature of NDErs' descriptions and the irrelevance of postmortem utopias.